Vegas IQ

Went to Vegas last week. Never been and thought what the heck, Patrick has a conference; I can squeeze in some naked feet time, sounds good to me. Of course if I had known it was a Microsoft conference, I would have thought differently as see Microsoft as a predatory company. I am forced to use their products at work but I do not use them at home. So the boys and I boarded a flight and headed out on Sunday afternoon for the great world of lights, gambling, and Carrot Top (?)

My thoughts on Vegas:

• I don’t do crowds; there were crowds everywhere on the strip.
• I find gambling dull and boring; so I did not gamble.
• I don’t do loud music, I like to get my internal Zen on, and everyone was sharing their version of whatever pop or rock ear joy as loud as possible. Chill people, turn it down, my brain has melted to Pink.
• We saw dead people, The Bodies Expedition is awesome!
• The Mandalay pool, beach, and wave pool were amazing but once again, music was being drilled into my brain and I only lasted an hour outside before fleeing back to the room to hide from Pink and the human masses.
• Everything was pretty much expensive. Seriously, I am not paying $30 dollars for a buffet, I refuse to gorge myself like a piglet. Sure, we could have walked to Circus Circus and got a cheaper buffet, but I really didn’t want to linger that long on the strip of joy.
• Sudo-celebrities never die; they just go to Vegas Carrot Top: Seriously? I find him like a hideous scary creepy basement troll dwelling creature.
• The Mandalay Aquarium was phenomenal and Nick really liked the Jelly Fish.
• We went and saw the MGM Lions, they were boring and sleeping. Most lions I have seen in the wild or in captivity are lazy beasts.
• Visited the Rainforest Café. The food still sucked, the music was too loud, and the fact they have a parrot the size of a zebra kinda of freaked me out. What, are we in the Land of the Lost?
• Nick scored a Folkmanis Chameleon Puppet at the Rainforest Café. What can I say, Mommy is a sucker for puppets and lizards.
• When it comes to Nick, he was a trooper!  He flew well, fussed very little, and seemed to enjoy the massive amount of intoxicated Vegas groupies that thought he was a little girl.   He made many new friends. 

To sum it up, I might return to Nevada but never Las Vegas.  Now back to doing the “Dance of Joy” for a couple more weeks until I can see my naked feet in the great outdoors again